A "conversation" with Wage Ugly.

Cubs are sucking.
My Daddy has a scary beard.
I am da shit.
My Daddy lost his Cubs hat.
Mommy thinks they'll find it (but she has no idea where).
I like to hit people.
Especially my little brother, Babo.
He eats a lot of cookies.
Did I mention that the Cubs are sucking?
Daddy says he'll try to fix it.
People use our drainage field as a dog park.
That's cool, but they don't pick up the poo.
That's icky.
I didn't vote for Obama. I voted for ME!
(I put "your moms" for VP.)
I am very clever--my Daddy says so.
Daddy got scared by an Otter Pop that lives by our house.
He screamed like...well, Babo.
I like Arvada.
There are hot girls here.
I woo them with my charms when Mommy and Daddy are at work.
I am not an "orange pancake," despite what Aunt Kasha calls me.
I call her lots of names.
Mommy won't let me type them.
Daddy loves me a lot.
He walks around the house saying "My son, bring me my son!" in a funny voice.
I like it.
I don't have a nose, so I can't tell how bad you stink.
That's good for you.
More pictures, Mommy!




Mommy says we should put pictures of Babo up here, too, but I say NO, and I always win these things.
Hee hee.

All you can eat...but do you want to?

So, tonight we started an experiment. Below, please find the results, as shared with us by Master James.

Q: What was the intent of this experiment?
A: To find mass quantities of pork in order to satiate my unquenchable desire for all things swine.

Q: To which fine establishment did you go in this quest, and why?
A: The Bennett's BBQ on 52nd in Arvada. Thursday is "All You Can Eat Ribs," so we had to check it out.



Q: Before we go any further, what do you look for in a "good" rib?
A: Falls off the bone, good sauce, pork--not beef.

Q: Given those qualifications, where would you say tonight's meal ranked?
A: It would be safe to say that the Pepsi that accompanied the plate was truly the highlight of the meal.

Q: What about savory sides? Did you have any with your meal?
A: Tasteless coleslaw, pedestrian baked beans, soggy fries, and garlic toast that appeared to have been sat upon by a large, plus-sized model.

Q: Would you return to this establishment?
A: No.

Q: Even for FREE ribs?
A: No. Your questions are far too formal.

Q: I apologize.
A: Show the picture.



Q: Knowing that you will not return, where in Arvada will you seek your swine?
A: The "Indiana" Texas Roadhouse. Accept no imitations.